Since August I have received some of the most amusing texts from Whitney. They always come right when I need them and never fail to make me either roll my eyes or fall on the floor laughin my head off. They're too good not to share. Here goes:
-Another teacher just gave me something and I ate it. I think it was a packing peanut...
-Lunch here is good and all but I'm about 75% sure that I ate an eyeball
-Some teenager just showed up at my door, gave me a sprite, and asked to use my toilet....I think someone's playing truth or dare....
-Either there's a glitch in the matrix or these girls I teach are twins and I've taught them both for a month without ever realizing they were different kids. What mother dresses her twins exactly the same every single day??? I've been calling seoyun "seowon" this entire time! Talk about being setup to fail >:(
-Also I played a card game with the kids for "faster than" and such and guess who their favorite was??
-(Haley) You made yourself the fastest??? Pahaha!!!!
-I made myself the best >:) I didn't tell the kids that card was in there and they got a huge kick out of it.
They may think I'm a little full of myself now....
-The haircut turned out pretty asian. Slowly but steadily... I am becoming a korean. Oh and my stylist was a middle-aged man with blue hair. I am living in an anime.
-I got pelted with soccer balls and wads of paper all day yesterday but then today I replaced the word "happy" with "zip-a-dee-doo-da" in my 3rd graders' vocabulary and it's been the best decision ever.
-Oh yeah- remember the part in joseph where the brother holds out the "z" sound, kills a fly, and eats it? I was teaching the 3rd graders the "z" sounds today and reenacted that impulsively and they lost it. Now I'm being followed around by "bzzzzzzzz *slap*!"
-My principal just came in with a dirty root he found outside and made me eat it. It tasted real bad.
-(Haley) Why do you always say yes?
- I don't know!!!
My student are saying "salad-day" instead of "saturday" and "hamburger-time" instead of "have a good time" and I almost don't wanna correct them
-Yesterday the 3rd grade teacher told me there was chicken in the library so I rushed in. I got stuck sitting through an hour-long staff meeting and there was no chicken. Why she do dat??
-Ajumas always be givin me candy. It's like my reward for speaking toddler-level Korean.
-One of my kids learned to say "shut up" from whatever tv show he's watching and kept saying it to his classmates so I told him it's a rude thing to say and "please be quiet" is better. Then some kid in the back started getting rowdy and I shouted "shuttup, Hanul!" And they'll never take me seriously again......
-What are you supposed to do when there's just a whole crab floating in your soup...?
-A mom came into the teachers room with her 4-5 year old boy while I was working on a lesson The kid spent a good 5-10 minutes just standing right next to my chair staring at me while his mom talked to the admin. Most uncomforable 5 mins of my life. Child, Just let me work!
-Just had my own little Korean drama scene. My frat boy next door neighbor came by at 6:45 AM and told me he lost his key. Sounded a bit like bs but I couldn't get him to go away and he kept insisting on resting at my place. I finally let him sit on the couch but told him I had to leave soon so he'd have to go. Then he started begging to be my boyfriend and telling me how nice he'd be while I repeatedly told him no with a million reasons why. He told me he was in love with me and the language barrier didn't matter. It was very melodramatic. I think he just wants and "exotic" gf. Eventually he hung his head and left. The whole conversation took place on the translator on my phone so it was hella awkward already. Oh my gosh I need to start prefacing conversations with korean men with "I have a tall strong boyfriend named lars." Oh he also promised he would study English. I told him to go find a nice girl and stay away from foreigners.
-After a really rough morning I walked up to the school to find a small group of fourth graders crouching in the snow. They spotted me and scooped up snowballs and came charging yelling "get teacher!!" I screamed and threw my hands over my face, bracing. Then at the last minute, they threw the snow in the air and sang "let it go" then giggled and ran off to make snow angels. WTH, 4th graders?
-Today my kids taught me that everyone in America has blonde hair/blue eyes and eats hamburgers/ steak, the statue of liberty holds a book and soft serve ice cream, and every American owns a gun and likes to shoot Japanese people.... they wouldn't even let me get a word in.
-So there's this chicken place across the street that cooks up a fried chicken/ fried rice mix that I like to get when I've reached the max of my laziness. Which is apparently at least once a week because the owner told me yesterday "you must walk a lot because you eat here too often but you're not fat." Tere's a compliment in there somewhere I know it >_<
-Today on the junsu diaries: "what are you going to do on saturday, junsu?" Junsu: "I'm going to go to hell."
-Today at church, brother kim handed me his 3 year-olds stroller, made a pushing motion, and disappeared. And thats how I ended up babysitting for an hour... I told anyone who asked that it was my child since I don't know how to say babysitting in korean.
-My latest angry note to frat boy:
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